why can’t us: the 2008 philadelphia phillies world championship movie

prystline and i, in our infinite wisdom, have decided to produce a movie about the 2008 phillies season entitled “why cant us”.  our plan is to release who we have cast to play each part in the movie day by day as to create a big “hollywood buzz” about the project.  first off we have our fearless leader and tactician extraordinaire charlie manuel:

"you can take a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a cow's ass, but i'd rather take the butchers word for it"

we figured there was no one better than brian dennehy of tommy boy fame to play the role of chuck manuel.  as a side note, dennehy has experience playing the role of a baseball manager in the movie summer catch, a sexycrimes favorite.

next up we had to find an actor to play the role of j-rol.  on a side note how do you pronounce this, we have always pronounced it j-rawl, but noticed that harry kalas in particular really over accentuates the ROLE part of his name (which makes sense for rolling up double plays, rolling up doobies, or rolling up late to games).  then again we also refuse to admit that we are pronouncing burrell incorrectly by saying it in two syllables (burr-ell) even after hearing everyone in the world pronounce it “burl” including himself.  i am sticking with my original “theisman theory” on this one, that being that he was originally burr-ell but he changed it back in high school for one important reason:

i have been waiting since day one to get a picture of allison stokke on here

this may seem a little far fetched, but if you are any kind of burrell/phillie fan you have to know that those exact words have come out his mouth on more than one occasion… burr-ells doing curr-ells for the gir-ells isn’t nearly as cool. 

but i digress, back to the original topic. the actual search for the actor to play jimmy rollins was quite easy:

rush hour 4: chris tucker makes sure jimmy shows up on time to a mets game

this was a no-brainer.  in fact after we signed up chris, jackie chan’s agents were all over us to get him to play so taguchi or tad iguchi.  we explained to them that both of these roles would be very small and the pay would be minuscule, but jackie didn’t care he just wanted to be involved in such a landmark project (like samuel l. jackson in star wars).  in the end though we decided that rollins was probably a dick to the ’guchis and that in fact tucker and chan’s on screen chemistry would be a detriment to the movie.

we will be coming out with the rest of our casting decisions over the next couple of weeks or so.

-gp

not ready to talk about utley yet

jeff francis likes hanging out with lincecum so it makes himself look better

 instead of talking about the hip that shall not be named, i would like to bring up thise quote from charlie manuel earlier in the season regarding mr. lincecum:

“He’s good,” Phillies manager Charlie Manuel said. “To me, he looks like a little clubhouse guy or a batboy with that long hair, but he’s got a fastball.

“I wouldn’t say he’s pretty, though,” Manuel added with a laugh. “They call Cole Hamels ‘Hollywood.’ I don’t think they call him that.”

agreed.  he is not going to be confused for a model anytime soon and if there is anything that the phillies 2008 season has taught us it is that being really alpha and good looking is the key to any world series victory.

-gp

No Title

It finally hit me today…. About 1pm pacific time… The Phils won the world series… the whole thing!!! all of it!

Like a sack of hammers… sitting at my desk…. reading a story about Moyer going back to Seattle and everyone being happy for him…

Jesus…. The Philbags won the World Fucking Series….

I was jacked up when Lidge closed it out, but it wasn’t until now (about 2 weeks later) that I actually FELT it.

but let’s get to some real talk:

P the B: He cannot be replaced… it’s a well known fact that he is the glue in the clubhouse… lose him now and we don’t repeat…. everything I have heard points to the phils not re-upping him.

Prystline refuses to believe that.  The man wants to come back, the owners just increased the ticket prices… lets give him 12-15 mill over 5 years (the babes he brings to the park are worth at least 8 mill a year).  We’ll make Elvis the bat dog…The sexy criminals will do anything for him (I’ll cook, Perman will…..nevermind)

Wasted…. love the bat…love Wendy and GTO’s Burgeoning relationship even more.

let’s root for them in the offseason.

Congrats to Pujols on his silver slugger award…. It must be easy to accept a prize knowing that you aren’t even the best hitter at your own position.

Nice 3rd place finish this year stud

where were these hands during the season

ry-how makes an amazing backhanded snag here. 

not shown: him trying to throw it to jimmy rollins to start a double play and it ending up in center field

-gp

michelle embarks on mission impossible… victorino dresses like a douche

thanks to sexyfan gto-josh who sent me these pics of the bat from earlier in the year.  clearly michelle forced pat to wear this shirt in some sort of an ill-advised attempt to make him unattractive to other women… try as she may, she had to know that endeavour was doomed to fail

babe, are you sure i look cool in this new shirt you bought me?

greased back locks...check; chest hair flowing...check; devilish smirk...check; smoldering eyes...check; PtB is ready to roll

dont worry man i know this shirt is hideous and i intend on sleeping with that woman staring at me to my left to teach my wife a lesson about the clothes she buys me... she has to know i am all about the tommy bahamas

the moral of the story is that pat the bat could get laid in a burlap sack. 

 

check out this photo of harry the k tilting his glasses down to get a better look philadelphia’s most famous ass’ett on parade day.

take a picture, it will last longer

even with pat’s wife attempting to sabotage his personal style he couldn’t pull off the most embarrassing wardrobe decision on the phillies.  that dis-honour has to go to shane victorino for sporting a douchey christian audigier shirt during his “no questions asked” spot on QVC

leave the audigier at home if you come to visit us in vancouver shane... it's banned in all the bars here

in fact it is only worn by gangsters and wanna-be losers here... i can only assume its the same in other cities

guys, don’t bother packing your ed hardy (ry-how), affliction (jay werth?), or tap out (rudy seanez?) gear either.

-gp