noooooooooooooo

how can you replace this

it is no coincidence that it is rainy in vancouver today

with this

ibanez's rbi numbers are only a small fraction of his pockmark numbers

i can’t rationally talk about things right now, i think my keyboard is on the fritz from all the tears i have poured onto it today!

keep in mind that i live in vancouver and watch roughly 10-12 mariners per year.  i have watched ibanez for the past few seasons and while his numbers are nice, he is not at all scary when he is at the plate, he is gross in the field and he is the definition of unsexy as a baseball player.

- 4 years older than the bat

- just as slow as him around the bases without the added incentive of looking like his ankles are going to break

- just as bad as the bat in the field, but his arm isn’t anywhere close to the bats

-  hits from the left side of the plate… the mets should go ahead and sign joe beimel now to negate the heart of our order with one LOOGY

- wierd looking… probably has never even thought about sexually harassing a ball girl

the phillies are going to have to sign my boy josh duhamel/tad hamilton to pitch out of the bullpen just to even come close to the getting the sexiness quotient up to the standard that us philadelphia fans have grown accustomed to

the only thing i can hope for now is that the bat signs with the mariners so that i can be that much closer to him and start what is sure to be a very close and mutual friendship… either that or be forced to sit in the upperdeck as to not infringe on any restraining orders that may be placed against me

pat, i’m going to sincerely miss seeing you patrolling left field for the phillies… it’s never going to be the same without you

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also, i was going to save this news for another day but it seems fitting that on the day that the bait’s philadelphia flame is extinguished that we announce who will be playing his role in our upcoming feature film

burrell is concerned that hugh may not be jacked up enough to properly represent him

trying to find someone sexy enough to play pat was a real challenge, we eventually concluded that if pat could not play himself then he would have to played by the recently crowned “peoples sexiest man alive” hugh jackman

-gp