I Love the Phillies

31 08 2007

I want to write a post so badly, but there are still so many emotions running through my head.  Perman and I were on Cloud 9 after Utley’s walk-off single and I honestly haven’t come down yet…. I can’t wrap my head around any of this.  I just can’t.  I can’t try to be funny, I can’t try to be clever, I can’t even talk about how much I love every single member of the team and I certainly still have not figured out how to re-size and post pics on the blog.  I watched the highlights at least 10 times last night, which meant I drank way more rouge than I should have, but who cares? It was a celebration…… I can’t remember the last time I was this excited…which may be kind of sad but whatever.

I also can’t remember the last time I took a three hour lunch in the middle of a workday to watch baseball (which the Perman and I did yesterday)….. oh wait, yes I can.  During the playoffs last year.  Look for the Sexy Criminals to be taking lots of extended business lunches when the Phil-bags make the ‘loffs…. actually fuck that…we’re coming to Philly!

 -Much to our chagrin,  the real Pat the Bat doesn’t seem to be anything like the made-up Pat the Bat that Perih and I have conjured up over the past couple seasons.  Well, I shouldn’t say “anything”…. Obviously he still does body shots of Patrone with Strippers on the Trainer’s table between innings, spends more time working on his glutes than he does in the batting cage and He clearly does not toss the ball into the crowd after catching the third out…. but He also may be the most jacked up Philly on the field.  His celebration of Rowand’s catch at the wall was one of the best things I have ever seen.  I can’t even put it into words so I will let the guy from the Zo Zone do it for me. 

What a catch by Rowand off the vexatious Jeff Conine! And Burrell gets lots of style points for the way he thrust both arms in the air exultantly in admiration of a play he couldn’t possibly make himself.

The Bat also nearly killed the Japimp with a bone-crushing bear hug after he scored the winning run and then sprinted to see his boy Chase at 1b.  He kind of fucked up though because now that Manuel has found out the Pat is the fastest guy on the team he might not be pulling him in the late innings anymore…. That is really going to hurt his pre-boozing.  It will also be harder for him to steal per diems from teammates’ wallets.  Happily that also tells me that he is willing to make some sacrifices for the good of the team…. What a great teammate

 Pat Burrell is my Favorite player. 

-Speaking of Favorite Players….these are the players that I hate:

Shea Hillenbrand

David Wright

Jeff Weaver

Khalil Green

Marlon Anderson

– Alfonseca is so fat.  But he is so perfectly round and hilarious.  He is not a very good pitcher. I am working on a theory as to why he is still around (it does not include the obvious “Because there is no one else”…that’s too easy) It’s not ready yet, but Burrell, Rowand and Meyers figure prominently in said theory. 

– Just heard that Cole suffered a set-back…. that brought me back down to earth pretty quick.  I can’t even think of a clever alternative reason as to how he tweaked his elbow.  This post sucks

 Sorry, I’m new





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