30 09 2007

we did it… i am in seattle listened to the game, soooooo excited.  huge sans pants party going on


30 09 2007

OK! I Get It!!! and…. Stop linking the sexycrimes to your weird site…. my last post was entirely and completely uninteresting yet you still linked us.  I have a feeling something is amiss here.  I get that “Brown Baggin’ with the Bat #4” was amazing, but honestly, my last 2 have been pretty embarassing… hold off until we have something worth reading…. seriously……

and for those who love sexycrimes (and who know the p-bags are making the ‘loffs……p-line has a little treat for you)

I took this pic in Santiago…no biggy

actually fuck it…. I’ll upload it tomorrow… if the phils win (uploading pics is ricockulously difficult for me)

How’s the Weather up There?

29 09 2007

We all know that the Phils are in first place by now and we all know that Cole Hamels pitched a gem last night (In his words – “At this point in the season it’s key to go out and have your best game ever”…….Excellent point Cole)

 We all Know that if the P-bags win today and the Mets lose that the Phils are ‘loff bound.

But do we all know this!…… The game is on in Vancouver today!!!!

I’m Jacked andI will be adding to this all game.

-Eaton you better not fuck up today… I’m serious…. McCarver, who I totally hate, has already mentioned that Eaton is the worst pitcher in the league TWICE…Normally I would keep a running tally but I’m probably going to mute it within the next ten minutes.

-3 batters in….1-0……. Nice footwork out there in left Bat.  Nice dip too… I think I’ll join you!

-Roger Federer+Thierry Henry+Tiger Woods = Most Awkward Commercial EVER

-Pat Burrell was the only player that didn’t have clever nickname when J-Dub ran thru the line-up for Fox.  I think that’s because none of his clubhouse nicknames can be said on a family TV network.

-Also our “stone cold pimp” nickname is way better for werth than the one he made up.

-Gillick is going to have a Jammer by the end of the game…. Me too actually….way to walk #8 and then get laced by the Pitcher….. What is Eaton’s deal?  HONESTLY…..I’m getting some Rouge…NOW.

-The Phils fans are right to Boo Eaton…. I am booing too….but in a positive way.

 -A Fine Defensive play by the Bat…. Or a terribly misjudged lucky catch from a player who probably should have been sliding…. Burrell and ManRam should have a left-fielding competition.

-2 and a third.  Sir! That’s just not good enough…. I still love you Adam, but only because I have to.

-FOUR-SIX-THREE………Geary? What Up?

Bottom of 3 is going to be HUGE.  I can feel it…J-Roll’s 20th triple is happening…..NOW!!!

Or not…… No more predictions.

Top 5…. This shit is killing me…. I’m out until there is something exciting to talk about.

UGLY E…Howard’s I am talking about… DP turns into a run and nobody out….. I might throw up……

OK I just barfed on my computer screen….. Ruiz into CF……..4-0….I’m getting sooooo drunk tonight…so drunk.

The Bags need to relax a little bit… everything is ok. 

I still think they are going to pull this one out…

Bacon Pants…YA YA….. way gone….give that man as much money as he wants.I’ll help pay.

Fuck you Jared from Subway.  Howard’s defense is NOT under-rated.

end 8th – The Bat doesn’t toss the ball into the crowd after catching the 3rd out…. I think we all know what that means….

Brown Baggin’ with The Bat #4

28 09 2007


10 Truths

28 09 2007

i'll take the blonde one


we know you are having a tough time figuring out which one of us you want to hook up with for the weekend, so we decided that we can all just share you.

-love, the usc song girls

heres my 10 truths for friday, september 28

1. john smoltz is a cry baby“Burrell’s ball isn’t a home run,” Smoltz said. “But that’s just what this park can do for you. You get the ball in the air and you can get lucky. Obviously, they feast off it.”

a) it was at least as much of a homerun as larry jones’ “chip” shot in the 6th

b) i am pretty sure that first base is still at 90 feet at cbp so what is your excuse for throwing that ball in the 1st inning into right field?

c) quit fronting on the bat or you are going to have to deal with the sexy criminals and our weapons (a pizza slicer for me and a mace & sword for prystie)

houndstooth & weapons... what a dream

2. this article may have been written a little prematurely–  if you are a phillies fan then read this article, there are several laugh out moments in it

3. willie randolph is a corpse– even his attempts at intensity seem feigned

4. no tickets available– all the seats for this weekends series against the nationals are gone, it is going to be a packed house… just the way brett myers likes it

5a. pat the bat is the best teammate of all time– here he is gently caressing a few of his fellow phillie ‘mates after the big win

is carlos ruiz an oompa loompa?

5b. the dude looooves philly and it’s fans“At times, the fans get a bad rap here,” Burrell said. “More than anything, [they booed] because the team wasn’t playing well . . . but there’s no better place to play.”

6. suprise guest in the dugout yesterday-

taking eatons spot onthe 40 man roster

look how pumped up i am to be hanging out with cole and the bat

*check out the original photo here(photo 6) and try and tell me that i haven’t done more to deserve a spot in that dugout that who i replaced??? just kidding adam… we need you tomorrow big guy

7. cole hamels is an absolute mesh hat– direct quote from jim salisbury today:

“Twenty-three-year-old Cole Hamels, the kid with the Hollywood looks and the Cooperstown change-up, gets the ball tonight.”

’nuff said… 8 innings, 5 hits, 8 k’s, 1 run.  2/3 at the dish with an rbi

8. mancrushes are completely normal– just ask my boy josh duhamel.  i have been told that the level of homo-eroticism on this site may be a little high, but we have no plans to back down from it, it’s just the way we roll

9. kyle kendrick saved the season– his 10 wins are the most important stat line from any philly

10. no updates this weekend– at least not from me, i am going to be in seattle watching usc man handle the huskies and spending some at par canadian dollars on booze, sunflower seeds and beef jerky. also, it’s prysties b-day party on saturday so he will probably be out of commission until tuesday, which coincidently is the first day of the playoffs!!! go phils


* huge shoutout to my boy jason whitlock, the 10 truths format is directly ripped off from him

yep, these are our readers

27 09 2007

the dude on the left may be covering an erection with his towel

by the way, if ANYONE can score us a couple of those rally towels (that the guy in the above picture is using to hide his erection) from CBP prystline and I would be forever indebted to you (i’m looking at you clare). 

anyways, i have decided to do another installment of our favorite  10 google searches that people have done over the last week that have led them to our blog:

1. fuck the mets– this may have been me

2. does pat burrell smoke– only when he drinks, so pretty much all day, everyday

3. pat perih– this may be a search from the year 2015  in an attempt to find information on my first born son or daughter, either of which will be named pat “the bat” perih

4. sexy mets fan picture- i was pretty sure that sexy mets fans didn’t exist until i came across this beautiful photo of a sexy mets couple at shea

even the lady behind looks like she is going to be sick

and these guys


their world of warcraft guild is going to be SOOOO MAD when they find out that they skipped out on getting their level 13 spell enchantment upgrade to go to a baseball game 

seriously though, i went through about 20 albums on this site trying to find good looking mets fans, and i don’t think they actually exist, “perih… back off” -r. banks. they are really not a very good looking fan base, no wonder d. wright is gay

5. Pat Burrell Taking care of business– if anyone doesn’t know the story behind this search term then check out this phillies season preview by AJ Daulerio on deadspin

6. sexy groin– yes it is, thanks for asking

7. where does pat burrell live– we will let all of you know after we crash at his pad in philly on our next visit

8. cole hamels what is his religion– outside of the strange phrasing this is a fabulous theological question.  do you technically have a religion if you are a diety?  or are only the people who worship you considered to follow that religion? 

9. pat burrell ass pics– i assume this is one of the ladies

10. there are several seperate searches for “pat burrell wife“, “pat burrell married“, “pat burrell wedding” which i can only assume is the bat himself trying to figure out if he is actually married to someone or not


stop snitchin’… celeb phillies fan #4

27 09 2007

even if he lived next to a serial killer he wouldn't snitch

huge shoutout to my boy ck for finding this pic of our boy cam’ron keeping it real in a macdonalds, repping the phillies gear and absolutely not snitchin’ to any police officers. 


oh ya, the phils won last night behind a clutch pitching performance from my boy kyle lohse and the error of mr. larry jones.  the mets, and az lost so we gained a game on both of them but the rockies and the pads both won so we are still tied with the rocks one game behind san diego.  the brewers and cubs both lost, so the brewers are still alive in that race with 4 to play at home against the pads.