is the sexy crimes dunzo???

11 09 2007

the bat is all about the fans

if you read the description of this blog at the top of this page:

a blog dedicated to our love of the phillies with a special focus on ending the persecution of our boy pat “the bat” burrell

and our very first post from august 22, 2007:

“it is my dream, and the main purpose of this blog, that one day pat burrell will be properly respected for the great man/ballplayer/teammate/unintentional comedian/cocksman/saint that he truly is…”

the question has to be asked following the bat’s amazing 7th inning, 2 out, 3 run moonshot last night after which he was called back out by the CBP faithful for a curtain call: have we completed the goals that we set out for ourselves when we first started this blog???

not too worry though fellow sexy criminals, even though we have completed our first goal in what would have to be record time i feel that we still have a lot left to give back to the world.  one may think that such amazing blogging powers that we should set loftier goals for ourselves such as solving world hunger, or providing maps to people in “the iraq” and such… but lets be real here, our new goals are going to be waaay sexier than that.

1. we will not stop until the bat is recognized as a demi-god and/or there is a religion started based on his teachings.  if that ron hubbard character can do it why not pat burrell… and lets face it would you rather follow a religion based on lame “science” or awesome “sexiness” and hitting dingers

2. get drunk in the phillies clubhouse with the bat around the 7th inning when he gets pulled for a defensive replacement/pinch runner.  I would even drink patron with the bat even though i hate tequila and i would try my best to not pull the “perih puke face”, which usually coincides with my doing shots, for fear of  being chastised by the bat.

3. have a hot 4-way with the bat and the model of his choice.  *note* model may be replaced with chase utley or cole hamels and this would still count.

4. watch the bat leg out a triple this season 

5. meet cole hamels and his family at dick’s bar in san diego…wait a minute

6. track down our phillies girlfriend that we met at the mirage in las vegas and hang out with her when we go to philly… inexplicably we said goodbye to her without exchanging emails or getting her facebook after having some amazing phillie related banter and taking such an unreal photograph

best friend from philly at mirage pool

she said that she wouldn’t even hook up with pat burrell if he asked her to… me and prystlines original reaction to that comment was that she clearly was a scorned ex-conquest of the bat… obviously she would not be able to turn the bat down now that he is lighting up scoreboards and women across the national league 

7. go to a phillies/mariners world series game this october in seattle… the m’s are not exactly holding up their end of the bargain on this one so far though

-gperih

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One response

13 09 2007
carps

Perih that is not your style to leave that scene without atleast an email. for shame.

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