the phillies have an extreme case of mad sexuality

29 11 2007

sexuality defined

i love the phillies new jersey the unveiled today

With a baseball career heading toward its apex and music endeavors evolving with jermaine dupris, Jimmy Rollins may have stumbled into a third calling.

Modeling.

 Rollins hammed it up in a runway setting that would’ve made Tyra Banks or Heidi Klum jealous. He turned, posed and paused at the right times for maximum comic effect. 

i have been wanting to get a white phils jersey for quite some time now, but the pinstriped jerseys look terrible unless they are matched with pinstriped pants (which surprisingly enough i do not own).  i will definitely be picking up a #26 chase utley jersey just as soon as my boy at jersey store 2000 on ebay has them available. 

i can’t believe i am actually doing a post right now… this is mainly due to the fact that i am nursing a crushing hangover and am not capable of getting anything productive done at work (i also casually rolled in at 3 o’clock today).  

Q: so perman, why exactly were you getting so mind numbingly drunk on a wednesday?

A: annual old guys meeting at our fraternity house at ubc… basically an excuse for us recent alumni to visit the house, yell at pledges, crush beers, look at the amateur porn being produced in the house, drink from the booze luge, and sexually harass girls born in the 90’s 

hot segue here… former phillie great mike schmidt was a member of our fraternity so we decided to quiz the pledges on some famous betas.  long story short, about 10 of them came forward (some of them possible communists) and didn’t know what team mike schmidt had played for (la dodgers… go fuck yourself pledge).  also, i was standing in the back of the room wearing a throwback schmidt/phillies t-shirt.  bottom line prystie and i were super choked and are going to make them pay for their lack of knowledge, most likely with a fluorescent light tube to the ass.

-gperih

 ps. i have decided to put out a formal invitation to pat burrell to join our fraternity chapter at ubc… don’t worry bat, we won’t make you going through the pledge process you can just step right into hazing pledges and banging sorority sex kittens

 cell phones take great pics

 pps.  check out this sexual neon light i bought on ebay… babes are going to be going crazy when i throw this bad boy up

bitches love my new neon light... and if they dont... fuckin' skanks

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One response

30 11 2007
icedGaze

Wow Perman, I can’t actually even believe you had the abilities to compose this post… my Thursday consisted of:
1) Arriving to work 2 hours late… in sweatpants.
2) Watching King Of Queens re-runs and Superbad on alluc.org
3) Ordering pizza to my office – but not enough to share with co-workers…
4) 0% productivity
5) Facebook, Facebook, Facebook.

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