Phils vs Mets…a sexualive blog

18 04 2008

Pline here for the first time in a little while….watching the game at permans……and there goes the shutout! That didn’t take long

Perih -sans pants

Prystline – Sans pants

Carpenter – sans pants

Colin – still (inexplicably) wearing pants

Hot 6-4 dp to abort a big inning…..

Cole Looks great with his new hair cut by the way.

Bottom of 1..we pvr’d this by the way so we are about a half hour behind…. like that really matters.

 get your arm up Johan you punk bitch…..

 Red Hot Pat Burrell looks great tonight…. He is also on a hitting tear…. I can’t wait to try and sleep with him when I get to philly… 1 for 1…

What’s going on with Santana’s mardi gras necklace… Has D-wright turned him gay already?  that didn’t take long.  I suppose he does need a new receiver ever since Lo Duca left town… but seriously?  Does he really need to celebrate it like that though?

By the way…it is not lost on me that I just talked about how I want humpdance pat burrell in one sentence then made fun of Santana and Wright for being homosexuals in the next… there’s a difference folks…. there is…. I’m at least sort of joking about wanting to get it on with the bat….and if we did we would totally get hookers to watch so that we could wink and tell people we had a hot 4-way.

Did I mention that we aren’t wearing pants?  That’s not gay either.  That’s just being respectful.

YESSSSSSSSSS…..Reyes is hurt!!!! We are so happy that Reyes is hurt right now.  It’s like a new years celebration…  How does Utley’s knee taste beeyotch?….

Jose Reyes is officially crying….

Carpenter ” there is no crying in baseball”

Perih: “There is also no oral sex in the showers…but wright breaks that rule all the time”….gold

They are letting Reyes stay in the game?  Are you serious?….That looked to me like a Mexican doctor…. the last time I saw a Mexican doctor he was busy mis-diagnosing my friend with some sort of tropical disease that turned out to be jock itch from the dirty water he was scrubbing himself with…. Ruined his whole trip.  Never listen to Mexican doctors…

On a lighter note… I had a great time.

I wish the Mets announcers would stop blowing the hell out of Reyes right now…. he gets enough of that from Wright and (apparently) Santana.  Seriously…. give the man a breather… his willy can only take so much.

 We need to meet that Phat Phils Phan on our trip…seriously.. fat, bald, goatee…you were on TV when they were talking about the crab fries…. we want to be friends with you….but only for one day…. you are too big of a skid for a long-term friendship…. seriously…what are you? 5 foot 3.

Over under on Buckets of Crab fries eaten by Carpenter in 2 games…. 5.  We are taking bets from now until May 14th…. I’m going over.  I’m just kidding… just snack-talkin’a little bit.

Does anyone else fucking hate Ron Darling’s voice?

E-Delgado… the guy is officially useless….

Wright is raking…. We’ll give him that… unfortunately I was forced to take him in my fantasy pool so it’s not all bad… but it’s still pretty bad

By the way..Perih just said that we have to drop the (e) in Bruntlett(e) for the rest of that game because of that backhanded play to nail wright at second… I second the motion

OH NO Delgado is up?  Just kidding… we’re pretty confident he won’t do anything… 

Whatever that ball was foul…everyone gets lucky once in a while… he is done as a player….and maybe even as a contributing member of society.

 A HIGH FLY BALL TO UTLEY…Great Power Carlos…

 Angel Pagan…obviously his god-fearing mother and devil-worshipping father each got to pick a name….wait a minute… That doesn’t make sense? You don’t get to pick your last name… Fuck it.  I think it’s a funny joke and I am posting it anyway.

We already know Utley goes Ya….Because Carpenter checked the score online…basically he ruined our day and we might kick him off the trip….. we still acted excited anyway….we are almost caught up to real time now

This game got pretty un-sexy in a hurry…. We can’t even fast forward anymore…super lame.

There is a base open..please please PLEASE put it in Santana’s ear…. Please?

Bruntlett (sans e) almost just took care of my request… not that I wanted to see Johan’s life ended, but you  know…. anything to win a ballgame.  B-lett is pimping this game out…okay that’s a lie, but baby steps right?…at least he hasn’t single-handedly ruined it yet.

okay…..this good…. as perman says…the Phillies hit Jewish mets like…. well, we’ll let the sexyfans fill in the blanks.


(Everyone know we are just joking around right? because we are.)

But anyway…Dobbs is a massive pimp…MASSIVE….

It’s game time bros.

And PLINE is getting krunked up….

Nice try Heilman (Carpenter, Colin, Perman, Prystline clapping sarcastically)

Howard is making 10 million dollars.  he should probably consider fielding a groundball cleanly.  Are you fucking kidding me….this is my first phillies viewing this year and I have already seen enough misplayed balls to last a season… this sucker better start hitting.  Seriously… thats his run.  And now I want to fight him…

 Howard Sucks

The Bat is not getting cheated vs Wagner… And wagner is pissed that he got cheated on…by his wife…with the bat…in front of his kids….no matter what happens… the bat wins

Okay so maybe wagner wins that one….long season.

I’m going to sign off while Feliz is batting….because he isn’t very good at hitting baseballs…

I’m pretty sure this is the least funny post I have ever written, but I am rusty… i’ll work on it..






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