phillies drinking game

9 05 2008

you think it is a coincidence it is called pat-ron

here’s a game everyone (except us because we hardly ever get phillies games on tv) can play at home while watching the phils play. 

1. pat burrell attempts to slide (in the field or on the bases): 1 drink once you have managed to stop laughing

2. senor out hits into a double play: 2 drinks, 3 if he manages to outdo himself and hit into a triple play

3. victorino ices a base-runner with his arm: 1 drink

4. utley gets hit by a pitch: 1 drink…consume whole bottle if he breaks his hand again

5. j-rol du-rag siting: 1 drink (preferably of malt liquor or hennesey)

6. someone mentions the fact that chris coste wrote a book: 1 drink

7. burrell sticks his ass way out on a slightly inside pitch: 2 drinks

8. durbin, romero, gordon or lidge give up an earned run: 1 drink

9. ry-how makes an error or k’s: 2 drinks

10. brett myers hits 90mph on the radar: 1 drink

11. jamie moyer hits 80mph on the radar: 2 drinks

12. kyle kendrick manages to strike someone out: 3 drinks

13. adam eaton makes it to the seventh inning: 3 drinks

14. cole hamels attempts to burn a hole through the umpire with his eyes for daring not to call one of his pitches a strike: 2 drinks

15. victorino makes a defensive play in CF look easy that rowand would have had to dive for: 2 drinks

16. burrell watches victorino make said play without any attempt to make a move for it whatsoever: 2 more drinks

17. if at any point in the game you think geoff jenkins was worth 6.5 million dollars this season drink the whole bottle

18. any shot of stone cold werths mom in the stands: 1 drink and a trip to erection cove

19. utley makes a dive on a play solely to get his jersey dirty: 1 drink

20. pete happy actually draws a walk: 4 drinks

21. you think victorino’s helmet looks cool: you are 12 years old and should not be reading this site

22. burrell gets pulled from the game for a defensive replacement/pinch runner: 1 shot of patron for every half inning that passes (also if you have any models available you should probably do your shots in the shower with them for good measure)

in actuality a shot of any tequila or hard liquor makes me throw up on contact

23. one of burrell’s replacements makes a error and/or base running mistake: shot of sake

24. cole hamels is able to make it past the eighth inning: 2 drinks

25. jc romero is pulled by charlie manuel too soon because a right handed hitter is coming up: 1 drink

26. brad lidge has to face albert pujols: finish bottle and hope you pass out before it gets ugly

27. someone actually beats burrell out of the dugout to celebrate a victory: finish bottle

-gp

t-minus one week and one day until philly

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3 responses

13 05 2008
dmac

This is very good. I would add:

1 drink for anytime somebody mentions Shane-o is Hawaiian.

1 drink anytime Steve Smith sends Burrell or Howard

1 more drink when they’re out at the plate (down the whole bottle if they’re safe)

1 drink when Flash comes into the game

13 05 2008
gp

good additions dmac… stangely enough when i was putting this together at a work seminar my friend dmac was sitting beside me helping me come up with ideas.

26 06 2008
jess

this is glorious and i want to play; my friend said i need a new hobby. i drink and watch baseball, i think a phillies drinking game very well COULD be a new hobby. cheers!

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