you do not front on eureka springs

25 09 2008

pat the bat was definitely ready to throw down with anyone on the braves last night, did you see his eyes when the dugouts cleared?  The bat was definitely looking to add some more damage to julian tavares’ already disgusting face.  Clearly married life has kept mr. burrell out of his usual amount of bar room brawls and he was looking to let off some steam.  the stills here are from the fightins website, where they have a video of the altercation.

the bat looks like king hippo from mike tysons punchout here... and seems to have a good angle for a cheapshot on tavares

the bat looks like king hippo from mike tysons punchout here... and seems to have a good angle for a cheapshot on tavares

i think the bat derives superhuman powers from his russel sweatshirt

i think the bat derives superhuman powers from his russel sweatshirt

i think he is telling matt stairs to go to hell here... also, bonus points for the way he is growing out his hair right now, he could have a pretty decent salad up there by the time the world series rolls around

i think he is telling matt stairs to go to hell here... also, bonus points for the way he is growing out his hair right now, he could have a pretty decent salad up there by the time the world series rolls around

 uh oh... umpire is right in the train tracks. as i learned in university intramurals, abuse of officials is not taken lightly (2 year suspension)

uh oh... umpire is right in the train tracks. as i learned in university intramurals, abuse of officials is not taken lightly (2 year suspension)

 there was also a great post on the 700 level where they rank the phillies by their fighting prowess, here is their list:

1. JC Romero. Something tells me not to mess with this guy.
2. Brett Myers.
3. Pat Burrell. He looks soft, but he’s a great teammate and would be out there throwing bodies.
4. Rudy Seanez. The guy is a lethal weapon. Literally.
5. Ryan Howard. Honestly, who is fighting him on the other team?
6. Jamie Moyer. He’d be one of the first out of the dugout…last to the mound.
7. Pedro Feliz.
8. Chris Coste.
9. Clay Condrey. Dude is a Hoss.
10. Brad Lidge. He has to be wired tight, doesn’t he?
11. Sugar Shane Victorino. He seems like a “hold me back. Hold me back” type of guy.
12. Jayson Werth.
13. Jimmy Rollins. He’s a lover, not a fighter.
14. Adam Eaton. He has to help the team in some way, right?
15. Chase Utley. Go ahead, lay into me for putting him this low. He’s a California guy…and the hair.
16. Chad Durbin. I can’t tell with this guy. Maybe he should be higher.
17. Carlos Ruiz. Question is, can he hit into a double play while punching the opponent?
18. Joe Blanton.
19. Eric Bruntlett. He’s got a beard. Don’t mess with guys who have beards.
20. Scott Eyre.
21. Ryan Madson. Mad Dog? Not so sure.
22. Greg Dobbs. “Not in the face. Not in the face.”
23. Geoff Jenkins.
24. Kyle Kendrick/JA Happ. Not Krazy enough.
25. Cole Hamels.
I don’t feel like going 1 through 25, but here is my top 5 and bottom 5 as to who i would want beside me if i were throwing down:
Top 5
1. The Bat- he doesn’t do all those bicep curls just for the ladies… well he probably does, but there are some other positive side effects that go along with that
2. Rudy Seanez- apparently he is a jui jitsu blackbelt or something…
3. Jayson Werth- toughened himself up by beating up friends he caught going through his mom’s underwear drawer
4. Brett Myers- while the majority of his opponents may not be of the highest level of competition no-one can else can say that they get nearly as much practice as he does or that they sleep with their own personal punching bag…
5. Brad Lidge- he puts the lights out in more ways than one
Bottom 5
21. Carlos Ruiz- may be higher if he is as good at blocking punches as he is at blocking the plate
22. Jimmy Rollins- the dude is tiny and has a big mouth… may be useful if fighting a group of grade 8s
23. Jamie Moyer- “i’m too old for this” direct quote
24. Eric Bruntlette- gay beard, went to stanford
25. Colbert Hamels- as much as i love this young man, i think that the punch that broke his hand in the minors may be the last one he ever throws
co cubbies!!!
-gp
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2 responses

26 09 2008
Jellenik

Is his name actually Colbert? Oh crap, I may have to find another team once Pat’s gone.

26 09 2008
barajas

You do NOT want to look like King Hippo when he has his mouth open… that’s when Little Mac (Brian McCann?) hits you and your pants fall down.

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