WOW…Blowies for everyone…

15 10 2008

First of all….it’s been so long it took me 4 tries to remember my log on name.  Obviously not a good thing, but whatever…  Having a hard time talking right now.  Hearing too actually.  Yelled so loud i made myself deaf I think… and I was watching the game at home with 3 people, 2 who don’t even know who the phillies are and 1 who only does because I bought her a Victorino shirt when I was in Philly and have made her wear it every night since.  Seriously, she tries to roll in with something else on and she gets it worse than Myers’ wife did in Boston. 

Needless to say I am a very happy person right now.  But we don’t need to talk about how much I love the Phillies right now because everyone else is going to be blowing them harder than I tried to blow King Cole in San Diego a year and a half ago….let’s talk about some other things…

-In tonights game, they played a bit where Utley came up to the plate and was talking to the umpire.  Something seemed funny to me….then it hit me.  He sounds exactly like The Bat (The Bait) when he talks.  I loved it.  The Bat is so much more than the greatest left fielder in the history of baseball, so much more than pure sex in blood stripes.  He is a teammate, a mentor and a friend.  Utley looks up to him so much that he has taken on his tone and expression….this is going nowhere.  I had all these people with weird voices to compare myself to but I forgot them and the ones I remember suck….(example:  When I was selling drugs with 50 cent, I started mumbling indechiperably just so people would think I got shot in the tongue too…see what I mean…poor, poor comedy) moving along

The split screen of J-Roll and Howard highlighting their NLCS struggles with the title “Brotherly Love?”…Pretty sure that was racist.  They might as well have said…”Black guys not hitting?”…okay it’s a stretch…I think I am only funny when I’m depressed.

I’d also like to thank Tim McCarver for pointing out in the third inning that “to be successful as a hitter…at any level, you’ve gotta work the count in your favour.”  Gee Tim, I guess that’s why I’m not in the big leagues right yet.  Here I am taking fastballs down the cock so I can get that sweet slider or nasty curve to take a cut at 0-2.  I’m so pissed right now.  Thanks for your wisdom Tim, get hit by the team bus.  I’m sure Cole Hamels would like to thank you too for mentioning how awful he looked in the first 2 innings…. Bad game Cole, you’re shit.

What else, what else, what else.  Oh!  Hot camera work when they panned around the Dodger infield and lingered on Furcal as he was picking his nose…Lay off the poor man, as if he wasn’t already going to draw himself a warm bath with his favorite razor and lull himself off into forever sleep! Wait until he goes home and watches the highlights as the sportcast leads off with that shot and some line like “Furcal ‘picked’ a bad night to play like snot” or “Furcal ‘digs’ the Dodgers into a hole” or “The Dodgers ‘mine for gold’ but come up short” or “Furcal might has well have kept his damn fingers in his damn nose because he sure wasn’t using them to field or throw or hit or put his jacket on after he got pulled for a pinch hitter”… poor guy…I feel awful.

Champagne celebration still seemed awkward.  Blanton was sitting there picking through bottles until he found the right one… What was he looking for?  The secret bottle of Dom in the bottom that sprays better.  Pretty sure Pat went into the clubhouse after he got pulled and drank that with some models in the trainers room….Speaking of the Bat, before he goes out and makes Perman’s predicition come true (the one where LiLo remember how much she loves willy) he is going to go LIVE on Mary Hart.  She may have been sitting behind homeplate with her Dodgers Jacket on, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be wearing a bunch of his whatever the hell by midnight (pacific time of course).  Maybe she’ll do an ET feature from his hotel room one night this week, because, let’s face it, He’s not going home until shortly before BP on the 22nd and we could all use another tour of Pat’s pad caught on video.  I wonder if he actually stayed with the team or just got the penthouse suite at Chateau Marmont and kept hookers in his closet all week?  We deserve to know.

Well I guess that’s it.  Does anyone miss Aaron Rowand right now by the way?  Victorino looks great out there.

Look out Mrs. Meyers, Brett’s coming home Krunked tonight.





3 responses

16 10 2008


16 10 2008

Whoooo!! Let’s all party in sketchy, dimly -lit basements while spraying cheap beer all over each other!!!

16 10 2008

ya, that was a strange video… looked like something out of the movie hostel.

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